My house is a work in progress. Its going to be that way for a really long time, but I feel like I'm actually getting somewhere with it, which is really encouraging.
We moved in just before Christmas in 2010, just a few months after my dad passed away. This house has been my parents' since 1990, and we moved in to keep my mum company. We built an extension so that I have my own living room, and my mum has her own living room. We have the whole upstairs area to ourselves, so really the only "shared" part is the kitchen/dining area. It gives us the best of both worlds, a seperate living area for both mum and us, and all the advantages of living together as a family.
Its had it's ups and downs, getting used to living all together again. Mum has her own ways and routines, and so do we, and getting these differences ironed out was a little bit challenging, but it wasn't too bad.
I think the main challenge was feeling properly, permanently settled. When we first lived here, I was a newly single mum, trying to get used to also having just lost my dad, and mum was a new widow, trying to get used to moving forward in life without her companion, while also getting used to having non stop grandchildren and dogs running around her feet once again!
I enjoyed bringing my kids up in the house I grew up in, and it was easy to remember, because large parts of the house hadn't changed since I was a kid.
My dad wasn't keen on change, and was always of the opinion that as long as the house looked "fine", it realy didn't matter about modernising it, so much of the main house is still as it was when we moved in, much to my mum's frustration!
Things were kind of difficult last year, I was getting used to the single life again, and spent most of my child free weekends staying with friends and going on nights out, while mum became increasingly frustrated with the state of the house, and with me for never being around to help change things. Lots of arguments ensued.
To be honest, I found it difficult to imagine settling here permanently. I wanted to, I really did, and I couldnt have done half the things I managed to do if it hadnt been for my mum being here for me, supporting me and helping take care of the kids. The thing was, I couldnt imagine that I'd ever be able to have a proper relationship again. I thought blokes would find it strange, a 32 year old mother of two, living at home with her mum. How would I ever be able to bring a guy home, explaining that my mum would be waiting when I got in?
I met Steve in March 2012, and everything changed. He was the first guy I'd met who I instantly felt at home with. That's another story for another day, but the point is, within a couple of days, he came to the house for dinner and he felt instantly at home in my house.
No worries, no hesitations, we both felt totally comfortable, and he didn't bat an eyelid about the fact that I lived with my mum. It made perfect sense to him.
Being with Steve has made me finally feel like I can settle here. I always saw this living arrangement as something I really wanted, but something that stood in the way of moving forward. Not true at all! Now that I've found the right person, it all makes sense, and we are moving forward as a complete family.
One of the things we are most often asked as a couple, is what we plan to do now about living arrangements, now that we are living together. Will we be buying our own house?
The answer to that is no, we are staying right here. Mum loves having us here, and we love being here. In many countries, its totally normal for several generations to live in the same house, but for some reason, it's less accepted here. It's a shame, because it works so well for us, and I'm sure it would work well for other people too!
Anyway, now that I've stopped working and I'm at home permanently, we are making big plans to finally get this place decorated and renovated. It'll be a long project but its also really exciting. I've already started doing Charlie's room, so I'll get a post up about the progress there shortly.
How do you feel about living with parents/grandparents? I'd love to hear some opinions!
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